Almost Love
by tdeuquette
Summary: Tugger makes a mistake. Chaos ensues. T for slight language; nothing to bad.


**Here we are. A one-shot of Tugger and Mistoffelees. First Cats FF, so be gentle, okay? T for slight language. Oh- and I have a little game for you all. Here in this story I have placed a metaphore from a much beloved Disney classic. Hint: It inspired a song that was in the movie and credits. Another, I have placed a song title, used here in dialouge, that was in another musical. Look hard, readers. Prize list at the bottom! :3**

One month. That's how long it has been since it happend.

Since Tugger and I seperated.

Let me tell you, it wasn't mutiual. I loved- still love, rather- Tugger. And I told him so. Perhaps I had told him to soon. Perhaps he had just grown sick of me and wanted a new toy to play with. Whatever the reason, he sure didn't make it clear to me, and that is probably the most frustrating thing about this whole mess I managed to get myself into. I knew that getting with Tugger would, more than likely, end in disatser for me. But, the thing is, Tugger is one of those cats that queens, and me, apparently, belive that they can change. That they can make better in some way, maybe make him settle down. I'm ashamed to admit I thought the same way. I was ignorent and foolish, and I payed the price.

"Oh, Tugger!"

I sighed and looked away from the scene. There were the kittens, as always, surrounding Tugger. His little 'fan club'. How he loved putting on perverse shows for them. Bombularina was standing a few feet away, leaning on some garbage. One look at her told me all I needed to know: She was hot for Tugger. She wanted him, and she wanted him now. It wouldn't be long untill-

"Listen, Kittens, I've got a date with Bombi, so I'll catch you all later." He winked, causing many kittens to squeal and swoon, did one last hip thrust, and made his way over to Bombi. I snarled. How I detest Bombalurina. I've never had a strong relationship with her, as she was always jelous of the bond Tugger and I used to share, and would often voice it to me. But now, now I just can't stand her! I took a deep breath to calm myself. No need for anger. It would only agitate my magic, anyway, and I wouldn't want to spark a fire. I would not want to explain that to Munkustrap. Getting up from my sitting position, I dust myself off before heading to into the forest. A nice walk before dusk would clear my head.

_"Listen, Mistoffelees, I need to talk to ya' for a bit." I looked at him strangly. He seemed oddly... Serious. I didn't like it. It seemed as though he was the bearer of bad news, or something._

_"Alright, what is it?" I smile softly, trying to reassure myself more than he as I take his hand and lace our fingers together. This seemed to open the dam, as a human might say, and he ripped my hand from his._

_"I can't be with you anymore, Mistoffelees, okay? I just can't!" The sudden outburst caused me to cringe a little._

_"What? Why not? Did I do something wrong?" Instantly, I think it must be something I have done. Perhaps he wanted to move at a faster pace than we were currently going. Tugger is quite the sexual creature, you know, and since he's been with me, he hasn't had any 'action', as I wanted to take it slow; I wanted to see where this relationship was headed and not rush into it._

_"It doesn't matter. I can't be with you. I don't want to be with you. We were better off friends, okay? Let's just leave it at that." Blinking rapidly, trying to comprehend all this and wondering where in the world it all came from, I grab Tugger's hand quickly to stop him from leaving._

_"No." I turn him around._

_"You better tell me what in Everlasting brought this on, Tugger. I thought you were happy. This- this breaking up with me nonsense has come out of nowhere! No warning, no nothing. You just waltz up in my home, and because you are the great, mighty Rum Tum Tugger, ruler of all the Junkyard, you think you can just leave me without an explination. Well, tough, becaus you're giving me one. I need to know why." By the end of my speech, I'm quite breathless, and I sound pleading. My eyes sting and my throat feels like it's closing up. Damn; I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, not in front of Tugger._

_"Tugger, please." I take his face in my hands, and he can't- or won't- look me in the eyes._

_"I love you." He looks at me then, suprised. I've never said that before, not to any cat, but I know it rings true. I do love him, more than anything. And I will not let him leave without a fight._

_"I have always loved you, Tugs, and I will continue to for the rest of my life, weather or not we're together. So, please, for my sake; why?" He squeezes his eyes shut, and for a moment, I think he's going to cry, too._

_"You may love me, Mistoffelees, but I don't love you. Not like that, and I never will. No, I... I love Bombalurina." Those words were such a shock to me I stumbled backwards, catching myself on the wall._

_"You-What?" Was all I could sputter out after, what seemed, like an hour of silence._

_"I love Bombi. Simple as that. Our replationship was a joke, Mistoffelees. You actually thought we would stay together? I only got with you to make her jelous, and thankfully, it worked." My tears flow freely now, cascading down my cheeks. Suprisingly, I don't much care right now that his admitted to our replationship being a joke, or about him loving Bombularina._

_"Why would you lie to me?" My voice came out cracked and soft. I could tell I caught him off guard with that._

_"I'm not mad about you admitting all this. Or, I'm not right now. But I am sad, and more importantly, I feel betrayed." I look at him sorrowfully._

_"You've never lied to me, Tugs, never. You had my ultimate trust, trust I've never given to any other cat, and you just throw it away like that? Like some overused has-been?" I choke back a sob, and I can tell I've struck some sort of nerve with him. His ears are back, and he opens his mouth, as if to say something._

_"Know what? It doesn't even matter. If I mean so little to you, Rum Tum Tugger, then I suppose I don't deserve a proper explanation, do I?"_

_"Mist,-" As he begins a sentence, however, I feel a deep pool of anger begin to make it's way to the surface. Like I'm a dormant volcano, just one second from erupting._

_"Shut. Up." The deep growl in my voice suprised me, as I've never sounded so angry before, but I'm glad for it._

_"Just shut the fuck up and get out of my house." Never, have I ever, used such strong language, and I know I'll regret it later._

_"Oh, Mis-"_

_"I said: Get. Out." I snarl and push him out the door, slaming it in his face. For the rest of the night, I don't leave that spot. I sit there, knees pulled up to my chest, and bawl, letting out gut-wrenching sobs that make my head pound. I don't leave the house for a few days, but when I do come out, the sight I'm greeted with stops me in my tracks and makes my stomach plummit. There was Tugger, in all his handsome glory, all over Bambularina. Suddenly, I feel sick, and I quickly avert my eyes, choosing instead of going back inside, to go sit with my sister, Victoria. She gives me a simpathetic smile, which I try my best to return, it coming out more of a grimace._

_"Oh, Mistoffelees," She sighs, holding my hand._

_"I can't say it will get better, but I can say that I will be here, on those low days when you want to do nothing but cry." I look at her, my eyes already filling with water again, and I crush her in a hug. Wiser words have never been spoken, and I thank her for saying them._

I sigh.

"Clear my head, indeed." I mumbled sarcastically to myself. Looking off into the distance, I start to see the the human infested part of London. Suddenly, like a saving grace, a idea squrims it's way into my head. I quickly make my way back to the Junkyard, get reprimanded by Munkustrap for staying out so late, and jog to Victoria's house.

"Vic, please open up, It's Mistoffelees." I knock on her door. It takes her a moment to open up, but when she does, she looks deshevled.

"Oh, dear, did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I can come back-" She chuckles, smiling.

"Oh, get in here, you great baffoon." I smile softly at her.

"Tea?" Vic offers.

"Yes please."

"Four lumps?"

"You know me so well." I sit on the couch, and soon, Vic comes back in with a pot of tea and two tea cups. After we both take a sip, she opens.

"So, dear brother, what can I do you for?" I sigh, knowing this will be a tought conversation.

"Victoria, I have something very important to talk to you about." She nods.

"Is it about Tugger?" I bit my lip and set the tea on the old CD help up by matchsticks as a table.

"Well, it may sort of protain to Tugs, and then again it.. might... not.." She raises her eyebrow at me.

"Okay, so it sort of does. Look, Vic, the thing is," I take her hands in mine, praying that Everlasting Cat would make this easier. I breathe deep.

"I'm leaving the Junkyard." Well, that's not at all how I planned it to come out.

"You-... You're what?" She whisperes.

"I'm leaving." I look at her, and I can tell she is deeply saddned.

"I just can't be here anymore, Vic. Everytime I walk outside, all I ever see are sympithetic glances and hushed whispers. And for the first time, I feel... Alianated, like I don't belong here."

"Oh, but you do! You belong with me and Munkustrap and Jenny and Skimble and-"

"Victoria. Please," She sighs, accepting my mind will not be changed.

"But what if we need you, Misto? What if something happens with Macavity and someone get's kidnapped, or-"

"Then you will know where to find me." She lookes at me like I've gone mad.

"It's simple: I'll go back to our old humans. You know, the one with the little girl that took a fancy to you, and the little annoying brown dog." She looked partially relived, probably because I was going somewhere she knew was safe.

"Then, if something of that nature does happen, you can come and get me. But, don't tell the others where I've gone. Just let them assume I dissapeared or was eaten by a Pollicle or something, okay?" She nods before embracing me in a hug.

"Don't you forget me, Misto." She says, and I kiss her on her pretty white head.

"Wherever I will go, you will always be my sister."

"And you will always be in my heart."

I leave the next night. It was simple passing whatever cat was on guard that night, as whoever is was was half asleep. When I get to my human's house, I quietly slip into the kitty flap on the back. The house is just how I remember it. I am quickly noticed by the youngest human; a small female child.

"Mommy! Blackie is back!" She takes me in a, quite literally, bone crushing hug, before her mother comes in a tells her to set me down, or she'll end up hurting me. I get a nice scratch on the head from the mother, as well as the rest of the family; the father, the oldest female child and a middle brother.

"Mrow." I say, purring. This pleases them greatly, knowing I am back and unharmed. Although, I can already feel a nagging in the back of my heart. I miss the Junkyard.

One year. That's how long it's been.

Since I left the Junkyard.

And the worst thing? It's Tugger's birthday today. He used to love these little cakes I manged to conjur from the London bakery. He was always so happy when he saw them; little round things with blueberry filling. He loves blueberries. Or- I think he still does. I wouldn't know. Maybe, just this once, I could conjur some up to be in his house? For old times?

No, no. I supposed to be dead. Well, maybe not dead. Gone far away, perhaps. But gone, nevertheless. I sat there and argued with myself for a good hour before deciding; Screw it. I want Tugger to know I still care about him, even if he could care less. So, going to backyard, I made sure no-one was around before breathing deep and concentrating. It wasn't long untill I held two of the cakes, one in each paw.

"Still got it, Mistoffelees." I grinned.

"Okay, now, the Junkyard. More specifically, Tugger's house." Breathing deep again, I focused all of my energy, and when I opened them again, the cakes were gone. I smiled to myself.

"Well done, Mistoffelees, well done indeed." With a triumphent smirk, I made my way back into the house.

Another year. Suprising how fast these go. Exactially two years since I left. I hope Vic is okay. I miss her desperatly. Her and Munk, Jenny, Skimble, Demeter, Tugger, Jemmia... Hell, I miss everyone. Don't get me wrong, I love my humans, but now I think-I know-I love the Jellicles more. All of them, however much they've hurt me. And now I know how very selfish it was for me to leave. Vic was right. What if they did need me? They're my family. Family doesn't desert family. So, that's it.

Time for me to go home.

I practically run the whole way from the house to the Junkyard. I skid to a stop at the entrace, looking around. Everything looks the same. Breathing hard from my run, I slowly step inside. It's a frigid November day, so I figure most of the cats are inside their warm homes. Actually, now that my adrenaline has left, I can feel the cold start to seep into my bones. I never was good with cold; short fur and all. It's times like these I often wish I had a mane like Tugger's. Little puffs of white mist come from my mouth, and I rub my arms to try and heat myself up.

"Victoria? Munkustrap? Jennyanydots?" I call out, hoping I'd get an answer.

"Mistoffelees?" I turn, and to my delight, there stands Victoria. Her face is illuminated by her beautiful smile as she runs up to me and hugs me. Well, tackles is probably a better word. Oh, who cares. I grin and hug her back, almost giggling in my happiness. Why did I ever leave her?

"Oh, Misto! I've missed you so much!" I pull away and kiss her on the forehead.

"I've missed you too, Vic." I pull her into another hug.

"Oh, you simply must see everyone! We've all missed you desperatly!" And in a slight whisper, she adds,

"They thought you were dead, Misto. They really did." I cringe. I hated making all of my old friends feel that way and put them so much. Dear, I never should have left.

"By Joe! It's Mistoffelees!" I hear somecat shout. We turn to see who it was.

"Uncle Bustopher?" I question. Now, I really haven't seen him in ages, even before I ran away.

"What in the world are you doing here?"

"Well, son, I came down as soon as I heard that you were missing." He waddled his way over, using his spoon as a sort of walking stick.

"After we all gave up the search and assumed the worst, I stayed. I really felt no reason to go back home. Besides, this felt more like home, even with you gone." He explained sadly, his previous smile replaced with a frown.

"But, no matter old boy, you're home now!" His smile was back, as he gave a great booming laugh that only Bustopher Jones could pull off before clapping me on the back, making me almost fall on my face, causing Vic to let out a giggle.

"Did someone say 'Mistoffelees'?" Who is it now? Ah- Munkustrap.

"Munk-"

"Mistoffelees! Why, I just can't believe it! Dem, Dem, come out here! Hurry!"

And that's how the day went. Greetings and hugs, even a few kisses from the kittens, who, while they were greatly entertained by Tugger's shows, missed my magic acts. Oh- And I did forget to mention; Munkustrap and Demeter had a litter! Yes, yes, quite exciting. They are adorable litle tykes, two males and a petit female. They decided to name them Reuben, Simon and Nessarose. This I can already tell from them: Reuben loves food. I think he'll end up being Uncle Bustopher's apprentance, the way he eats. He has a black as night coat, much like myself and Uncle Bustopher. Simon, on the other hand, is quite and intellectual. He has paticualry bad eyesight, however, so Jerry and Teazer stole him a pair of human glasses, black, round and thick. Makes him look quite comical. Munk didn't approve at first, but now he's just happy his kit can tell who he's talking to without standing on his tip-toes and squinting. He's lean and lith, with a grey tabby coat, like his father, and likes to read human lititature. Nessarose, the runt of the litter, is shy and modest. She's adorably sweet, and definatly her Daddy's princess. She's almost identical to Demeter with her coat, though. Even I found myself enjoying her company, and I believe the feeling is mutual. However, there is one cat who didn't make an appearance, and I asked Vic about it that night.

"Where is Tugger?" Vic looked away, suddenly saddend.

"Victoria? Tell me, where is Tugger?" I asked more forcefully, becoming worried. She looked me in the eyes, then, and stated in a hushed whisper,

"Nobody knows."

I looked for weeks. He was gone. Really, truly, gone. It was like Vic said;

_" He was a mess after you left, Misto. Kept saying how stupid he was for picking Bombi over you, and how he wished he could take it all back and just hold you, one more time." She swollowed thickly._

_"It was heart breaking."_

_"But- Where is he?" She sighed._

_"After about two weeks of him putting himself to absolute misery, he took off. Didn't tell anyone where he went. Just, in the middle of the day, walked out of the Junkyard and never came back."_

_"B-but he has to be somewhere!" I stuttered, not believing what she was saying._

_"It's not like he magical! It's not like he's me; he can't just disappear off the face of the earth!" She shook her head sadly, taking my face in her hands._

_"Mistoffelees; that's exacticaly what you did, not two years ago."_

But I will never give up hope. I will look every damn day untill I die if I must. It wasn't untill I saw Old Deuteronomy for the first time that I, quite literally, facepalmed.

"Oh, Everlasting, I am such an _idiot_!" I growled.

"Dear Mistoffelees, what troubles you?" Old Deuteronomy asked kindly.

"I have seriously been gone for so long I forgot: I am a magician! A conjurer, to be precise!" I exclaimed to him.

"Don't you remember when I conjured you back from Macavity's cluches a few years back?" Old Deuteronomy nodded, catching on.

"Well, if I'm lucky, I can do it with Tugger! I can not believe it took me this long to remember!" I blew some stray fur out of my face, aggitated at myself.

"Okay; Jenny. I need Jenny."

"Right here, dear!" She said cheerily, as she always does, and bright smile on her face.

"Do you still have your red tablecloth?" She nodded.

"Oh, of course, let me go fetch it for you."

Okay, so I had everything I needed. Ignoring everyone else, who had come to watch if I could really do it or not, I set to work. Setting the cloth nice and smooth on the ground, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Based on everyone's 'Ouh's, and 'Ah's, I figured my fur must be sparkling. Good, that means the magic is working. I waved my hands, blew some sparkle-dust over it, and...

"He's not there." My eyes snapped open. I quickly looked at the cloth. No, Tugger was in fact, not there, but something else was.

"His collar? You conjured up... his collar?"

"Shut up Tumble, I'm working on it." I huffed, picking up the familiar collar, smiling at the equally familiar scent that eminated from it. After politly asking Vic to hold it for me, I attempted it again. Deep breath, sparkles, a drum roll from somewhere, and...

" 'is gloves. This toime 'ou got 'is gloves." Said, what sounded like, Teazer or Jerry.

"Look, this is difficult, okay? I haven't seen Tugger in years, and that makes it all the more hard. Just let me do my work." I was getting frustrated, which wouldn't help my situation in the slightest. _Just calm down, Mistoffelees. You'll get him. Then, after he pleads and begs and whines, you'll finally take him back and you'll live happily ever after._

"I just hope that's true," I whispered to myself. And for the third time, I closed my eyes, but instead of wishing Tugger would appear, he simplified it and just pictured... him. His, though Tugger would hate him for saying this, cute and fluffy mane, those gorgeous amber eyes, the oh-so-sexy hips, and let's not forget-

"Tugger!" Brought out of his trance, he blinked rapidly for a moment before realizing,

"Tugger!" I shouted, falling to my knees and enveloping the long lost cat in a hug.

"Oh Tugs, I've- Dear Everlasting, Tugger, you smell awful. When's the last time you took a bath?" And not only did he smell awful- he looked it. His fur was all deshevled and knotted up, and he looked like he hadn't slept a week in months.

"What happened to you? The Rum Tum Tugger I knew would never let his mane get in such a state. This thing is- or was- your pride and joy." I looked at him sadly, trying my best to get the knots out. He sort of looked at me for a moment, as if he didn't know what the hell was going on, before blinking and saying,

"Mistoffelees?"

"Yes?" I responded, successfully de-knotting his little curl on his head. Cleaning him like this, I felt a surge of affection for the giant lug.

"Mistoffelees."

"... Yes."

"... MISTOFFELEES!" He exclaimed in joy, lunging for me and giving me the five hundreth bone crushing hug I've had within the past few days. Hm. I'm getting quite a few of those.

"Oh, Mistoffelees, I.. I am sorry." He pulled away and looked away, quite ashamed.

"Oh, well, it's alright.. We're together now, so-"

"No, Mist, it is not okay." He interrupted me.

"Everything I did and said... I only did it because I was afraid." He admited softly. I felt so much sympathy for this cat right now it was rediculous. And I shouldn't. I mean, he took my heart and put it in a blender, then fed the chunks to a clan of Pollicles. I should be angry, and pissed off, and completly fuming! Yet- beneath all his cockyness and immaturity, I always had this feeling that he was deeply thoughful and sensitive, and it seems I was right. That fact made me put aside the anger.

"Afraid of what? Feelings beyond lust?" I asked, taking his hands in mine. Everlasting, it felt great to be this close to him again.

"Of love." He said it so sweetly and innocently, I almost started to cry.

"That's why I'm here. So we can talk and figure things out, and maybe discover that love isn't something to be afraid or scared of, it's something to be cherished, something to be proud of. Because, let me tell you something, some loves are like summer roses. They start from a little bud, and that bud grows and develops into a beautiful, amazing flower. But it's also very delicate and fragile, and when the cold comes, it withers and dies away. Those are the sad love stories. But some, like Gus and Jelly, or Skimble and Jenny, they start from a tiny seed. And over time, the seed grows into a sapling, which grows into some of the biggest and strongest trees. Almost nothing can tear them down. They may take a beating, but they stand strong, never falling to the cold like the rose. They are full of love and happiness, never regreting a day in their lives because they are with the one they love." During the emotinal speech, I start to cry. I can't help it. This is a new level of deep for me, and Tugger as well.

"I want that kind of love, Tug, and what we had, what I hope we still have, was that seed. That seed that, if it's taken care of, will grow into something inspiring, beautiful, and strong. A love that can withstand anything; even the test of time. Please tell me we still have that." My hands were cradling his face, and I wiped away the lone tear that fell. He brought his hand up to cover mine, and closed his eyes, breathing deep.

"Mistoffelees, I love you." He finally admited, looking at me with a sincerity I have never seen from him before.

"I always have, and always will. Can you ever forgive me?" He asked, and for the first time in years, I truly smiled.

"Only if you'l be my test subject for some new parlor tricks I've been working on." He smiled then as well.

"Deal." And we kissed. It was bliss to have his lips against mine again, to have our breath mingle. We only pulled apart when we heard clapping. Looking around I quickly remembered: We are surrounded by the entire Junkyard.

Having me give that very heartfelt and personal speech to the entire Junkyard was deeply embarrasing, but it was definatly worth it. After that, I took Tugger home, back to his old den, as it was bigger than mine. I forced him to let me clean his mane, as it was filthy, and I explained why I left, and he told the tale of why he left and why he was so dingy.

"I lived on the streets," He had said.

"What can I say; it's the hardknock life when you're no different than any other ally cat."

At the next Jellicle Ball, (I haven't danced in years, it felt so good to do so again!) Tugger and I became an official mated pair. I could feel Bombularina's jelous gaze, and I had to hide my smirk of triumph.

_He's mine, bitch._

Of course, I instantly regretted calling her a bitch and quickly took it back. She'll never know. Since then I have moved in with him, and we are quite happy. And, wouldn't you know it, just last week I stumbled upon a small, mewling kitten. She was all alone and hungry, so I quickly took her to Demeter, who still had a bit of milk left from her last litter. Dem agreed to nurse her. When she was weened, the little girl became quite close to Tugger, who instantly feel in love with her sweet innocence. I could see it in his eyes. Really, she looked just like Victoria. White as a snowflake- Hm, that might make a good name..- Long, gorgeous fur and big, blue eyes. Tugger and I pretty much adopted her. I mean, it's not like we could ever procreate kittens, so we were not passing up this opertuninty to be parents. But, all in all, Tugger and I have been though alot. But, I'd like to think we're stronger because of it. Our seed is becoming a sapling, and with the addition of the kitten, our sapling is becoming a tree; and I could not be happier.

**So. This turned out WAY longer than expected. But, I think it's good. I won't lie; I cried while writing Misto's little speech about seeds and love and roses... xD :3 Now, don't forget, I put a metaphore from a much beloved Disney classic and a particular wording from another musical in here. Find one, and you get to pick the next couple I type up in my next Cats fanfic. Find them both and you become my beta, and get to throw in your thoughts and ideas! And don't forget, review, review, review!**


End file.
